Can you hear the music?

Tonight is the spring band concert for DQ. And her father will be there. I kind of told him he had to come. It's his weekend and I normally drive the kids to his house. But since this concert will go til 8pm, I figured get him there and he can drive them to his house.

This is only the second school function I've invited him to in the almost 7 years since we got divorced. We don't deal well with each other. Like sit on the opposite side of the room and ignore each other. I dealt with too many years of verbal abuse to even want to speak to him face to face. The only time I force myself is if there is something major about one of the kids that he needs to know. Otherwise, we communicate via text message. My children saw enough in their young years and he knows which button to push so I just keep my distance.

So, for this evening, I will again ignore the elephant in the room and enjoy DQ's concert. I wonder if they'll play any Metallica?

The Dilemma

Having a blended family poses many issues...

Flashback graduates this coming Monday. We are given 10 tickets to attend. So, it's the immediate family, her maternal grandparents and her boyfriend. Leaving no ticket for her father to attend. Mind you, the two have not spoken to each other in almost two years. Nor does she speak to her paternal grandparents. And they did not even acknowledge her 18th birthday. So, I wasn't really planning on extending an invite to graduation anyway.

The problem lies in sending out announcements and invitations to her party to her father's relatives. I've stayed in contact with two of his aunts. One lives nearby and I'm not sure whether to invite her or just send the announcement so as not to piss off the one that lives out of state. It's quite a dysfunctional mess! And to top it all off, my current husband and I have reconnected with my ex-brother and sister in-law, as we were all friends prior to my divorce. Ex-brother in-law has not spoken to his parents or brother in 3 years due to some huge blowout. And not knowing who speaks to whom over yonder...I'm trying to play it safe.

And dilemma part two...I am only inviting my current husband's immediately family: parents, his sisters and their immediate families. I don't feel it appropriate to invite my current in-laws relatives as this is not their biological niece/cousin and don't want to feel like I'm begging for college $$. Does any of this make sense to you?

I have three more children with my ex, so whatever I choose to do with Flashback will be handled the exact same way for the others.

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Counting down...

The next two weeks are crammed full of all the end of year bullshit. Band concerts, graduations, fly up ceremonies, baseball games. You name it, it's on my calendar!

My oldest daughter, I call her Flashback, because she's my mini me. Flashback finished high school a semester early. She had four days off and went right to community college. That was our deal. Leave high school early go right to college. No time off for good behavior. No backpacking trip across Europe. (She didn't ask and I didn't offer.) And absolutely NO laying around the house til August when fall classes started. She managed 15 credit hours and worked 6 days a week. OK, so she's a little more ambitious than I was at her age. But, she did it. And in 10 short days, she'll be walking with the rest of her class at graduation. One down, four more to go!

The oldest boy, we'll call him the Yetti, that's his step-father's nickname for him...he's trying to finish his Junior year of high school. And waiting patiently to get his driver's license. Maybe not patiently, but that was brought on because "ya know Mom, I don't really need to get good grades to get into Culinary School. Cuz I am getting an A in that class." My response and not to offend anyone, but it is true "Son, you need Math & Science to cook. You know mass, weight, molecular structure of the food you plan to prepare. English- HELLO! You will be speaking to your customers. And Spanish to speak to your employees." Again, no offense, just trying to make a point. 4 D's does not get you a scholarship to top culinary school. And 4 D's means I'm not shelling out the $$$ to pay for driver's ed. Needless to say, he straightened up his act. And now is racking up driving hours til we hit 50. Yippee for me!

Daughter #2, a.k.a Drama Queen, DQ for short, is in band. Two nights of practice and then the concert. I was really hoping she didn't want to play next year. Only because the step-daughter and the Yetti both played and when there's a couple of years between kids and you're pretty sure these are the same songs. Yeah, I just want to be done. Maybe the clarinet will magically disappear before the 5yo gets to 5th grade.

Daughter #3, is our comedienne. She also has graduation this week. Movin' on up to middle school. 6th grade. Bigger pastures. My baby girl is no longer a baby. She's also bridging to Junior Girl Scouts...only because I'm making her. Her beef is that she's not even going to be a Girl Scout next year, so why should she have to go. I told her it'll look good on her college ap. (So, I lied.)

And last but not least, 5yo. He is the baby. Wait, was. He will be entering Kindergarten in August. Yes, I have a child at every level of schooling. Kindergarten to college. Never in a million years did I think when filling out that stupid thing in high school for the year book "FUTURE PLANS" : have kids every 5 years so I can be the "youngest parent", the "I'm right there with you parent" and "oh, crap I am the oldest parent." And history will NOT repeat itself again. I remedied that situation after having the boy. It's sad enough to think that I will be 54 when he graduates high school. "Hey, where's your mom and dad? I see your grandparents up there." My husband is 11 years my senior...so you do the math.

My step-daughter doesn't live with us. She's on her own. Going to college and raising a baby with her boyfriend. Not the most ideal situation, but she's doing a good job so far. We've had our rough patches, but I think now that she is a mom she understands. Her mother passed away when she was 6. Her father and I were friends at the time. I took care of her whenever asked. A few years later I got divorced. Her father and I got together. Combine my 4 kids, her and then throw in "Oh, by the way we're having a baby" in to the mix and let's just say the teen years sucked for her. But life is not always full of "shiny, happy people" and we have to deal with the hand we're dealt. I'm proud of who she's grown to be over the last year.

Enough for now. I'll get in to me and the husband another time. For now, I have to go pick up the learners permit teen. And definately a glass of wine after that ride home.